Celebrating Singleness

If you don't want to be single, and you would rather want a relationship, why would you "celebrate" it?

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nThe desires for romance/marriage/sex/intimacy/family are real. They're not something you can really ignore or repress. Not can you somehow satisfy them by doing all the Good Christian Things.

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nIs singleness a "gift from God"? It depends on what you mean. Usually when we hear the word "gift" we think of a "present." But the Bible wasn't written in English. In 1 Corinthians 7, when Paul talks about this gift, he uses the same word he uses for spiritual gifts. He also says that this gift is "from God." He's talking about an ability that people have, not the state of being single. Or an "opportunity," as this article puts it.

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nYou mention that Jesus was single. This is true. But, when you're single and you don't want singleness, well, this doesn't really help much. Sure, Jesus was single. OK. Doesn't mean I want to be. I mean, Jesus was also betrayed, abandoned, and then tortured to death. Doesn't mean I want to experience these things. And Jesus can't fulfill every desire we have, or make these desires go away. Jesus's earthly life didn't include marriage. He wasn't brought on Earth for that.

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nBesides, Jesus (God) also created the world, looked at man being alone...and said it wasn't good. How interesting! Even when the world was perfect, He said it wasn't good for humans to be alone. Jesus also said that not everyone was able to accept celibacy. I agree with Him! Haha. So what if Jesus was single? Did Jesus care about getting married? Who knows? The Bible never says anywhere that he desired marriage, or struggled with being single. Sure, maybe He did. But we don't know.

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nPersonally, I don't find it somehow "inspiring" to note that Jesus was single. That's never made my desire for marriage/sex/ to go away. I'm not Jesus.

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nIs singleness something you should "celebrate"? Why would I celebrate it? I don't want singleness. Singleness isn't for everyone. Paul talks about singleness. He doesn't tell you to celebrate it. He says a couple things about it.

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nPaul admits that singleness isn't for everyone. He says that it may be better to marry if you "burn with passion." He also tells unmarried people that it might be better to remain single, but he admits that this is just his own opinion, rather than a "commandment from God" (7:25-34). He also clarifies that he's recommending singleness because of a certain "distress" that the church in Corinth was dealing with. It also seems like Paul personally believed the end times were near, which would explain his caution about singles marrying. He also says that an unmarried woman will be happier as a single, but he admits this is just his own opinion. Evidently, many single women are NOT happier being single.

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nYou mention that "Paul continues in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, emphasizing that unmarried individuals have a unique opportunity to focus on pleasing the Lord without divided responsibilities. "

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nA lot of the time, when you're single, people tell you to "take advantage" of it because you can apparently "serve more." You have more "time" to serve, they'll say.

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nI think lot of this comes from a certain take (a misinterpretation, in my view) on what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. Paul basically says that an unmarried person is devoted to the Lord and not distracted by the needs of his spouse. This is then interpreted by some to mean that a person can do "more ministry" as a single. I don't think that's what Paul says here. I mean, if that's the case, why are all the pastors and church elders typically married? Did they make a mistake? Is marriage getting in the way of their ministry? What Paul says here, I believe, is that if you AREN'T distracted by the desire for marriage, then MAYBE you have the gift of singleness.

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nYes, marriage comes with difficulties. When you're single, and express interest in marriage, lots of people will "helpfully" remind you that marriage is hard. Gee, thanks! I didn't know that! lol. "Hard' and "bad" aren't synonyms.

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nYeah, OK, people want to make sure that everyone gets the seriousness of marriage. Great. But why let that steal the legitimate joys of marriage? All the research I’ve ever seen (almost all secular) says that married people are happier, have more and better sex, make more money, live longer and impact society more. It’s a societal foundation, apparently. Well, then!

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nIf you're single, and you'd rather want marriage, it's understandable why you want that, and it's OK to pursue marriage instead. You don't have to "celebrate" your singleness. If I celebrated it, well, I would be being dishonest. Isn't dishonesty a bad thing?